A Different Kind of Resolution: Intention vs. Reaction

It’s the third day into the year, and already a number of New Year’s Resolutions have bit the dust.

I have not been one to put a lot of weight into making resolutions as it seems like people think this is the only time of year that they can make changes to their lives, and I like to encourage everyone that we can make a new life for ourselves at every moment. That said, it is a great time to reflect on things and see how you want to move forward in this moment.

I was lucky enough over the New Year’s weekend to have taken a few workshops at Easton Mountain, namely in gratitude, attraction, and mindfulness. They overarching message to me in these leanings was one in intention. Too often in our busy world, we are doing things that we have trained ourselves to to without thinking. While that serves us well in some fields (like driving a car) it’s not as good when we are trying to have a conversation with someone or packing for a trip. I have personally experienced many a time when I had to clean up or take extra time when I did something unmindfully.

Another concept that I’ve picked up from my recent studies in Tantra is the concept of intentions vs. goals. I’ve spoken to the idea of goals here many times and I still think that there’s a great use for them, but also have discovered that sometimes it’s better to have an intention about something. To really mix metaphors, I also have realized from my study of GTD that there’s a difference between a project and an area of focus. A project is one where there’s a clear end point (e.g.: re-tile the bathtub) where an area of focus could be something you’re responsible for, but you can never really say is ever completed (e.g.: keeping a healthy body). A goal works for a project, but not as well for an area of focus.

Therefore, I don’t have a resolution (goal) for this year, but I do have intentions. If I were to have a goal, I’d succeed or fail. I want to be more present all the time towards an intention instead. For most of my life I’ve been very goal oriented (and will never be without goals!) but I’m realizing done areas of my life need me to be more mindful in each moment and striving toward something, and intentions seem to be a better fit for that.

My intentions for 2012 are to be more present in each moment and consider what is in my best interest. As you can tell from this, I can’t have this be a success or failure; it’s just a continual striving.

So, what are your intentions for 2012?

Your Passion This Week, Volume 6

For those of us in the Northeast, we are either wondering what all the fuss of Hurricane (or Tropical Storm) Irene was about, or we’re reeling from the devastation of rain and floods that it brought to Western New England and New York State. Wherever you are, I hope you’re safe, dry, and warm.

Here are some things that have gotten my attention lately:

• Matt Cutts: Try something new for 30 days: A great TED video about how to create new habits and stretch yourself.
• 5 Reasons Your Blog Should Have More Authors Than Just You: If you are promoting yourself on line, you have to show that others are interested in your topic to and have something to say. Also that you know other people in high places!
• Take Back Your Lunch!: I’m surprised about how many people never take a break from the office for lunch. I have to get out and do something different!
• Email Rampage! 8 Tips to Find the Bottom of Your Inbox: Feeling overwhelmed. Just try to get your email inbox to zero so that there’s nothing left haunting you. It difficult, but a good spiritual practice!
• How Many Hours a Day Should You Practice?: Musicians have to practice a lot, as it shows up so obviously for them. How much should we practice to be great?
• First Follower: Leadership Lessons from Dancing Guy: What might be the tipping point from a eccentric to a movement could be the believability of the First Follower.

So, what have you been reading that’s inspired your passion this week?

 

 

When I Connect on Social Media (and When I Don’t)

In our new world of social media, there are numerous new ways that we can be in contact with friends, business connections, high school classmates, and random people that we met at a party nine months ago. While two if the most prominent networks online are LinkedIn (for professional contacts or friends who you don’t mind vouching for) and Facebook (for friends, sort-of friends, random one-time contacts, etc.), there are numerous other social websites that look to connect people who share particular interests. Two that I currently and involved with are GTD Connect (for people working on productivity issues using the GTD philosophy) and Real Jock (a sports and fitness website for gay men).  These are places that you can find people who have the same interests as you and share ideas. There’s a site for just about every interest; many which I am sure would surprise you as to its narrowness of focus.

In just about each of these site, there’s an opportunity to make a connection to another person. Whether it’s called a friend, link, buddy, co-worker, or whatever, it’s your way of saying that this is someone that you have a mutual understanding that you share some experience.

I have found that there are two types of approaches to this: the “open networker” and the “I-take-the-phrase-friend-seriously connector”. The Open Networker is one who sees social networking as way to expand a network and figures they will get to know you when you get into your inner circle. The other is one where they aren’t going to admit you to their secret club until you’ve already got a relationship developed outside of the venue.

There are plusses and minuses to each, and it can vary for each person within the different settings. It also depends on how you want to be seen in the world. I don’t tend to be an open networker, as I want to be able to speak with some knowledge if someone asks me about someone I’m connected with. If I really don’t know them, then 1) I won’t have a lot to say if someone asks me about them, and 2) if I want to engage them in some way, they don’t know me and will be less likely to help.So, here’s how I manage my connections in the three largest social networking sites:

LinkedIn: I only connect with people who I have had personal or professional interactions (in person or on line) previous to our connecting. I also need to feel that I could speak highly about them if asked for a recommendation. Since everyone can see your connections, you are as credible as the company you keep. If I don’t know you, I can’t recommend you.

Twitter: I’m happy to have as many people connect with me on Twitter as possible! That’s where I try to put a public face on what I do, both personally and professional.  Feel free to follow me at https://twitter.com/kenmattsson.

Facebook: I have two places on Facebook to connect.

• The Spirit-Work Connection: This is my group where I post about issues that I think are important to think about where you intersect with the work you to and the spirit you are.  I post meditations daily and links to resources that I think can help people.  I encourage everyone (that means you!) to join the Spirit-Work Connection.  It’s open to everyone, whether I have a strong personal connection or not.
• My personal Facebook Account: This is where I write about all sorts of things that come to mind.  I limit this to people who I know personally outside of Facebook.

I’m more of the “get to know me first” type guy. Once I get to know you, I’ll can let you in (guess it’s the chilly New Englander in me!) Granted, you can also subscribe to this blog, and get to know me more here.  Even better, post a comment about something I’ve said.

If you ask to connect with me, and I don’t know you, I’ll probably ask you where we know each other from.  That will force you to say “oh, we don’t know each other.” Then I’ll probably refer you to this blog post.

I want to manage my reputation in the world, and part of my reputation is the people I surround myself with. If I don’t know you, then I can’t be sure.  I’m sure you’re great, but until I know that, I’ll play coy.

So, how are you managing who you’re connected with?

Turning Off The Voice In Your Head: Reflections on GTD

I was fortunate enough this past Friday to participate in the Making It All Work seminar instructed by Mr. GTD himself, David Allen. As many of you who read this blog know, GTD (Getting Things Done)  is a productivity philosophy first explained in David Allen’s book Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress Free Productivity. The main goal of the process is to get ideas out of your head so that there’s room to think of more creative ideas and to live in the very zen-like state of “mind like water”.

I’ve been studying GTD for about two years and seeing how I can integrate it into my life. While I’ve read books, participated in online forums and study groups, this seminar was great in filling in the gaps and bringing things together for me.

Here are some of the tidbits that I picked up in this session, and I can say that they are applicable to just about every area of one’s life:

• The optimal state is being in control, relaxed, and focused.
• Concentration minus distractions = Power
• Getting something off your mind frees up a lot of energy, so figure out where to put ideas so that you’ll find them again. That’s why we put the trash next to the door so we’ll remember to take it out in the morning.
• What frazzled us most is when we don’t know what to do with something, put it down, and pick it up again not knowing what to do with it.
• People blow fuses because they don’t know where to start.
• “Trust in Allah but tie up your camel.”
• Fear = Fantasized Experience Appearing Real
• We have a stasis with what we are comfortable. The only way to change is to make ourselves uncomfortable where we are. Until then, we won’t move.

While there were lots of other things I got out of the seminar, that’s all I can process now. If you’re interested in learning more about freeing up your mind, here are some resources I’ve found helpful.

• David Allen Company
• GTD Starter Kit
• GTD Virtual Study Group (A great podcast by Tara Rodden Robinson.  You can also here the episode where I was a guest speaker talking about using  GTD in your Career Development.)
• 45 minute presentation by David Allen on GTD at Google
• All of my blog posts relating to GTD

So, what are you doing to stop the voices in your head?

Stop the Bulk Mail Job Search

Spring has truly arrived in New England. Just this week, most of the trees burst out with buds, leaves, and best of all, flowers. In my walks on Boston’s Public Garden, I get to smell the flowering dogwoods (at least I think that’s the name of that tree!) and the scent is amazing. We’ve had a tough winter here, so we are all looking so forward to having nice weather.

In this area, it’s also the time when colleges unleash another batch of graduates from their studies. Most of these students have never had to look for a job, and they do the one thing that is easiest to do and that worked for their parents: send our a lot of resumes. It’s also the time when these same people fret that no one is getting back to them and giving them a job.

Looking for a job is a marketing campaign and you are the product. You need to identify who are the people who might hire you and let them know of your qualifications and give them enough context of your background to feel like you’re not hell on wheels to work with. Sending resumes is one way to do it, but not the only way (and not even the best way).  If a company was trying to introduce a product and the only thing they dis was to send out mailings to every person possible, they probably wouldn’t get a great response. It’s not surprising that job searchers don’t get different results with the same tactics.

So, what do you do then?  Well, what are some other ways to let people know that you’re great?  First you need to know which people need to know. This might sound obvious, but it’s the biggest mistake I find job seekers making. When I ask them where the want a job, the commonest answer is “anywhere”. just like bulk mail, if you are spreading yourself too thin, you’re not likely to find your target.

Note:  My next post will be about identifying your targets, so subscribe to the blog to find out when I post that.

So, do you know who needs to know how great you are?

What to Give Up in Life

I don’t normally put in a post just to refer to another blog post, but the post at Marc and Angel Hack Life: Practical Tips for Productive Living on 50 Things You Need To Give Up Today is just brilliant.  I wish I had said it before them, but it’s just great.

I didn’t know they’re site, but browsing through it looks like it’s got a lot to offer!

What’s the One Thing I Can Do Next?

Last night I attended the GLBT Executive Networking Event hosted by Boston Spirit Magazine. It was a good event which had a number of companies with booths, break out sessions, and a keynote speech by Robert Kraft, Owner of the New England Patriots (American football) and New England Revolution (international football or soccer) teams. He spoke of teamwork and how he turned the Patriots around to be one of the most successful sports franchises. It was a nice night (and especially those that like to see handsome men in suits.)

I had a client that I was coaching at this event and there are lessons that I’ve found are almost universal for everyone who comes to these type of networking events. This individual was laid off and has been paralyzed by fear in starting the job search. This event was the first tangible action taken in months. As I stated, just coming and showing up made this a success!

Too often people get completely overwhelmed with the emotions and magnitude of the job search and shut down completely. My recommendation is to just think: “What is the one small action I can take now?” (Those of you who know GTD will not be surprised at this). When I’m coaching clients about networking events, I recommended that people have a goal for what they can get done at an event to know it’s a success.  This can be as simple as “find someone who knows something about Google as an employers” to “find the names of 3 resources for a graduate degree or certificate in graphic design that I can take online” to “talk with one person who will introduce to another person”.  By setting yourself an achievable goal, you are more likely to feel successful and actually do more than that.  The important thing is just to move forward, and you can only do that one step at a time.

So, what’s the one next thing that you can do right now to move forward in your goals?

Listen to Spirit-Work Connection Interviews with Ken

I’ve been lucky enough to be interviewed on three different shows over the past year where I can share my thoughts about career development and how it interacts with the other aspects of people lives, and I thought that many of you might not have heard these and would like to get a better sense of my approach. Take a listen to these and let me know if anything resonates with you!

1. In March 2010, I was the guest speaker on the Getting Things Done Virtual Study Group (GTD-VSG) Podcast where I talked about “Utilizing GTD in Career Development“.  It was a great time with some great questions from the audience. If you don’t know anything about GTD, it’s a productivity philosophy developed by David Allen and I highly recommend it to anyone who is feeling overwhelmed and wants to get control of your life (or at least feel less anxious about it.) Listen to it directly.
2. In December 2010, I was interviewed by Harry Faddis on “The Quest of Life” radio show out of WRPI-FM in Troy, NY, where I discussed “Connecting Your Spirit & Your Work“.  Harry asked me question about how people make decisions about where their careers are going and how you can make choices that serve you better.
3. In January 2011, I was again a guest on The Quest of Life, and here I discussed “I Could Do Anything I Wanted If I Only Knew What It Was“. A big part of my work is helping clients with career exploration and assessments, so this was to clarify what people can do to help them get more clarity on what it is that makes them happy and how they can increase their chances of working in areas that make them happy.

Note: The workshop that I mention in the last two interviews (Finding Your Calling: Making Connection Between Spirit and Work) has been rescheduled to March 18-20, 2011, so you still have a chance to register!

I have a great time doing these interviews and am considering doing a podcast/audio/video blog to answer questions that people would have.

So, what questions would you like to ask me?

 

The Fallow Time

For those of you who have been wondering where I have been, I would answer that I’ve probably been in the same situation that many of you have been: sick. I got s sinus infection last month and that hung on through two rounds of antibiotics and a lot of other time just feeling lethargic. I’m slowly getting back to health, but it’s taking longer than I want. Some things you just can’t rush.

We here in the United States have just gone through our semi-annual changing of the clocks, and I’m doing my best not to get depressed about it. I tend to be pretty light sensitive and having sundown at 4:30 right now (and getting as early as 4:10 in December!) usually puts me in a funk. It’s dark so early that you feel like you can never do anything outside in the evenings, so after a busy day, it’s just time to hibernate.

I’m trying to have another view of this time this year. The agricultural concept of letting a field go fallow (i.e. not growing crops for a season) is to allow it to rejuvenate so that it is stronger and more vigorous in the future. Just like we know that you get stronger by sleeping (because you break down the body during exercise and it restores itself during rest), your mind and spirit also need a break. If you consider that the Christian season of Advent comes at this time between Halloween and Christmas, you can see that people traditionally have recognized this time as one for rest and contemplation.

I’m seeing this time for me as an opportunity to rest in many ways do that my body mind and spirit can renew itself and get more grounded in itself and I can therefore make better plans for the upcoming year and the rest of my life.

As I do more research and writing, I’m seeing that a key area to the work I do in career development and planning has to do with the space in between identifying what you want and the actions you need to get there. Unless you feel your own personal power that you can take those steps, you’ll never do it. We all know people who know what they need to do to lead a better, happier, healthier, more successful life, but for some reason they don’t take those actions. I’m seeing more and more that it’s because these people don’t feel inside that they have the power to change. In developing my own personal power, I’ve found that you can discover it if you just take the time to slow down and notice it in yourself. That’s why we all need to be fallow occasionally.

You can choose how you will best be fallow. I’m going on a retreat this weekend to Easton Mountain called the Art of Powerful Living with Harry Faddis and Michael Cohen. I’m also taking all of Thanksgiving week off to just stay at home and recover from life (and the sinus infection sluggishness).

So, what are you doing to recover? What areas of your life are you letting go fallow intentionally?

Human Being vs. Human Doing

 

Update as of November 2011: This has been my most popular blog post as far as people finding it on Google.  If you wish to see more of my thoughts on the subject, check out http://resonare.wordpress.com/tag/mindfulness/ and you can keep updated by joining the Spirit-Work Connection Facebook Page.

East Coast Trail, Renews, Newfoundland, Canada

Like many others, I tend to be pretty task driven. I know what I want to accomplish, and I make my priorities and plan what I’m going to get done. The has served me to an extent as I have achieved quite a bit in my life, but I’ve also found that it’s been accompanied by an anxiety that my list is longer than my capacity to complete things.

In this time of too many inputs, I think that many of us are running around s little crazed as we see the possibilities of what can be done, and unlike our forbears, it’s a lot more than any one human can realistically do.

I’ve been struggling with this for a while. My meditation practice has helped, and my implementing if the Getting Things Done practice has also helped to take things off my mind. I have learned through his that it’s not the amount of undone things that really bothers me as much as the worrying about it.

Last weekend, I had a little bit of a revelation. I had the afternoon free and had just come back from a massage appointment where he did the equivalent of re-braking a broken bone that hadn’t healed correctly (damn that scar tissue!). I was really sore but had the afternoon to get something accomplished. The big difference was that instead of asking myself what I wanted to get done, I instead asked:

“Who do I want to be at the end of this afternoon?”

As you can imagine, that’s a very different question. I said I wanted to be calm and relaxed, and feel good about myself. Well, I had a very different afternoon that day, because I didn’t do anything that would make me crazy or frantic (which given how high energy I can be, is common with me). I did have things to cross off my To Do list at the end of the afternoon too.

I’ve been trying to incorporate this practice into my daily life, but it’s not easy for me. I’m trying to break my “rushing to get a massage” mentality, but it’s yet another practice.

What changes for you when you Be more than Do?