Your Passion This Week, Volume 3

Here are the most interesting stories I’ve found this week! Enjoy!

• Mastering Respectful Confrontation | Respectful Confrontation: Joe Weston’s new book on his theories of using communication like martial arts to be in your power is finally out.  I have been to his workshops and highly recommend that you pick up a copy!
• The Art of Powerful Living: Harry Faddis and Michael Cohen speak about their Art of Powerful Living workshop for Gay Men at Easton Mountain this November.
• Joshua Walters: On being just crazy enough | Video on TED.com: This comic shows that anything that can be seen as a disability can also be seen as an asset.
• Survey: Half of us want to quit our jobs | Need to Know: It’s not just you. Many people are dissatisfied with their work.  That’s why I feel my work is so important, even, and especially, in tough economic times.
• The Happiness Project: A Fundamental Secret to Happiness? Get Enough Sleep: I’m trying to live into this myself!
• The Maddow Blog – Overworked America: Does it feel like you’re working more? You probably are.
• How to Connect a Conference: Or, “I Can’t See Your IQ from Across the Room” — Jason Seiden: Interesting networking tips for conference attendees.
• A solstice approaches, unnoticed: James Carroll of the Boston Globe had a wonderful article about how we are feeling disconnected from the natural world.
• Perform This Way (Parody of “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga) by “Weird Al” Yankovic: A brilliant parody by Weird Al.
• Latające lampiony Poznań – rekord Polski • RekordyGuinessa.pl: A very cool event in Poland where they light paper lanterns and have them float in the sky.  There are thousands of them!
• How to Talk to Little Girls: Very interesting article about how we start programming little girls (and I would say boys) to think certain ways about themselves.
• Harnessing the Power of Feedback Loops: In graduate school I studied about reinforcing and balancing feedback loops. This brings an update.
• [Korea's Got Talent] tvN 코리아 갓 탤런트 Ep.1 Sung-bong Choi!!!.avi: An amazing talent and an amazing story.

So, what’s gotten your attention this week?

 

The Difference You Make In Others Lives

I just got back from a great dance weekend where I got to contra dance, English Country Dance, waltz, and catch up with many friends who I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to in a while. This community has been a constant support to me and gets to the core of my creative life, which is music and dance in a GLBT context. In the story of the past few years, I’ve been exploring other parts of my life, and I’m now looking to see how I can integrate this part of me that has been  secure back into my life.

That, and I need to get back into dancing shape. I’m a sore puppy today, and I even tried to pace myself. I guess that and I’m not 25 anymore. More transitions.

What really touched me is that I connected with two friends, one who just started a new job and another unemployed and looking, and they both mentioned that they read this blog and have gotten either techniques, context, understanding, or all three. I try to bring whatever insight (or crazy idea) I have, and it’s nice to know that others have gotten benefit from it. I never know who reads this blog, so it’s nice to get some positive feedback, as that gives me impetus to keep writing.

As usual, I like to see this in the broader context of how each of us shows up in the world and makes an impact. It made my day that I found out others appreciated what I had to say, and that it made a difference in their lives.  You never know what it is that you have to offer will make a difference to others, whether it’s the knowledge you share, or the acknowledgment that you made a difference.

So, if this blog has helped you, let me know, and what ways are you making a difference to others?

The Biggest Loser, Fear and Your Career

As many of you know, I went through a big health and fitness transition a few years ago. I had a major illness ten years ago (burst appendix that wasn’t caught, leading to peritonitis and getting close to death) and after that, this man who had just completed the Boston Marathon three years earlier couldn’t exercise and ballooned up to 196 lbs.

Ken at his heaviest - 2006

That might not seem like much compared to other overweight people, but I’ve got a rather small frame and that’s a lot of weight on me (as you can see by the picture).  After my divorce and a lot of inner work, I managed through exercise and working with a nutritionist to lose 43 lbs., getting down to my lowest at 153 lbs.  This whole process was an issue of my taking control of my life and saying what was important and working toward that goal. I had a little set back from my illness about a year ago, and I’m about 10 lbs. over that weight, but I’m working to get that off again and get down to where I can get back into my 30″ pants.

Ken in 2009

I’m not much of a TV watcher, but one show I do like is The Biggest Loser.  While there is a lot of twists and turns to the show, that part I like about it is that people are facing the things that have been keeping them back, making good choices for themselves, and working consistently to make improvements to their lives.  It’s sometimes hard to watch, but it shows it’s not easy.

Last night on the show, one contestant, Arthur, who topped out at approximately 645 lbs., was voted off the show.  It was a very emotional time, as everyone there knew that he really needed to be there to help him live, but Arthur had also made a lot of bad decisions and had really upset a lot of people.  As Bob Harper posted today on his blog, Arthur made a lot of decisions out of fear, and usually those weren’t good decisions for him overall.

I see with my clients that many times people make a lot of bad decisions in their careers because they come out of a position of fear. What if another job doesn’t come up?, I should take this job because the economy is bad., I’ll never get a good job with my experience., etc.  Granted, I’m a firm believer in reality, and understand that you sometimes have to make compromises in your life, but what I’ve found many people do is shy away completely from the possibilities when it gets rough.  You have to know what you are facing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t move forward.  If you know what you want and know what you need to do to get it, then all you have to do is follow your plan and take the action steps to do it.  This is living out of personal power instead of fear.  I think many people would have much happier lives if they worked this way.

So, as Martin Luther King Jr. said, what happens to a dream deferred, and what are you doing to take control of your dreams?

What Gets You Up In The Morning?

I’m riding the train this morning with a whole bunch of other people heading into the city, and I’m scanning their faces. Some look quiet and serene. Some look focused and tense. What is similar with all these people is that they are all heading somewhere for a purpose. For most, the purpose is to get to work.

The question of what gets you up in the morning is what motivates you. The word motivate makes me think of a car engine starting. It’s that initial spark that that initiates all other actions. For many, that spark is missing and coffee fills the void. Usually, what gets you going is something that answers one if your core needs. It could be the need to help another, complete a task, or to have motivated others to make a change that affects the world. We are all very individualistic in our motivations. That is why we gravitate to certain areas if work. I’m motivated by making a difference in people’s lives and having them acknowledging that with me. Needless to say, I wouldn’t be motivated in the field or architecture or engineering.

Many times when I work with clients, the issue of motivation if central to them feeling stuck. They can be successful in their current careers, but it doesn’t get them up in the morning. My sign in identifying that is what subjects make them talk more excitedly and get them to smile more. And it’s not just that they want to do those things, but the reasons behind them. This is another opportunity to work in your own personal power.  What do you want?

So, what gets your heart racing?

Note: To discover more about your motivations, consider coming to my career exploration workshop at Easton Mountain, Finding Your Calling: Making Connections Between Your Spirit and Your Work on March 18-20, 2011.  Please let your friends know about it!

Job Potting Soil

I’ll be a guest speaker on The Quest of Life radio show on WRPI-FM on Friday, December 17, 2010 and my topic will be Connecting Your Spirit and Your Work. The next few blog posts will go into more talk about the points that I’ll be speaking on there.

Every day, I have to go out and go for a walk.  It can be a blizzard, but I need to go outside, even if it’s just to breathe the air for a few minutes.  I’ve mostly realized this when I’m in those situations of having to do a “working lunch” where I’m expected to sit inside all day, and I don’t get a break. I need it for the physical as well as the mental aspects.  I just need to get away from it all.  When I don’t get it, I’m a crabby, sorry monster. (Granted, this goes when I don’t get my tea in the morning too, but that’s something different.)

There are other aspects that are really important to me too, such as feeling respected by my co-workers for what I bring to the table, getting to work directly with others on problems, having others say “Thank You! You helped me do things I didn’t realize I could do.”, and other such things that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.  We all have these things for us, and what I’ve found is that they are different for every person.

Maybe for you, it’s really important to accomplish a project.  Maybe it’s that you get to work with a lot of people interaction. Maybe it’s that you have very little people interaction and a lot of quiet time.  Whatever it is, it’s what is important to you to do you work and feel good about it.  I always ask people to tell me about the situations where they have felt great about what they got done, and what are the circumstances of it.  It might be a boss that really was supportive, or one that just told you what to do and trusted that you’d get it down.  These environments are the fertile soil that you need to grow. Just like some plants grow best in full sun and others in sandy earth, we’re all have different needs.

So, what’s the environment that you need to grown?

Again, remember to let people know about the Finding Your Calling workshop at Easton Mountain, March 18-20, 2011!