You are currently browsing the monthly archive for May 2010.

Nothing strikes fear into introverts (or extroverts) than being told they should network. Visions of hordes of slimy people in suits shaking as many hands as possible haunt the minds of people who are looking to get ahead in their careers. “I’m not like that! I can’t do that and be the real me!”

This teleworkshop will review strategies where you can truly be consistent to yourself, but also make connections with others. We’ll discuss online networking, informational interviewing, and strategies to make connections at a networking or professional event without having an anxiety attack.

Register for this event at https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dE1mX0JRTHpPbzFWLS1scjkwLWxvZlE6MQ. You will be sent the phone number and access code the day before the event. Remember, the event is FREE, but you will need to pay your own long distance charges for the call.

Questions before the event welcomed!

After a number of years after the end of a long term relationship, I’m feel like I’m ready to get back into the dating pool. It’s been a long time and it’s a different world in many ways from being single in my mid 20’s on the late 1980’s. Back then, you’d go out to clubs or parties and see if you could meet someone new or get introduced to someone by a friend.

Nowadays, we’ve gone from the simple dating sites like match.com to a hyperlinked world with everything from Facebook to Grindr to LinkedIn to even more specialized sites. No matter where you see someone, you’re bound to see them somewhere else to. Recently, I started chatting with a someone online, and then noticed that he also popped up as a mutual friend of a friend on Facebook. Upon clicking on his profile (which I couldn’t completely see because he had set his privacy settings right), I saw that we had 17 friends in common.  Talk about coming with references!

Seems like the old way of getting introduced is still working, but the other way around.

What does this have to do with job seaching?  Everything.

We all have a digital presence now, and you not only need to manage that, but also figure out who the people are that you need to be connected to on order to be introduced (or bump into) their professional colleagues. Also, as you are so connected, they have people who know you and can get the real dirt on you.

Do you know what they’re saying? And is it what you want them to be saying?

You’re going to be trusted more if people know the sane people you do. If there are places where you want to work, make sure you hang around with the people there so the get to know you and refer you to other when they hear of an opening.

And who knows? You might end up with a date too.

Warmer weather has finally hit New England. I’ve got the shorts and short sleeve shirts out from storage, the windows are opened more than they are closed, and I’ll be buying plants for my balcony on Saturday at the gardening center. We’ve been waiting for this a long time.

Additionally, it’s the time of year when students end their studies and start taking action to all the plans they’ve been dreaming of over the winter. I too  am starting to take action for my summer plans. I’ve got a trip next month with my Dad to Newfoundland to see the place where my great-grandparents emigrated from. I’m also planning more workshops, teleworkshops, and some professional development tasks. I’ve recently been researching all the different social media platforms and how I can utilize them to engage you in my ideas and let other people know that this is where you come to if you want information about developing your creative career, bringing your whole self into a career (spiritually, emotionally, etc.) and also if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender and you’re trying to work through there issues. Expect to see a bunch of new changes to the site by the end of the summer.

So, what are you creating this summer? How are you moving into action? Are you doing what you want?

Today we had a great teleworkshop with people from Boston to California discussing issues with resumes and I tried to provide some context on how to stop making assumptions on what a resume is supposed to look like an instead encouraged everyone to think about who their audience was and what they wanted them to know.  Thanks to everyone on the call.

The next teleworkshop will be on Wednesday, June 9th at 9 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time.  I’m still deciding upon the topic, but it will probably be one that gets a lot of energy in the following poll.

Please submit your ideas!


As those who know me realize, this was the first Mother’s Day I’ve had since my mother passed away in September 2009. I was lucky enough that I had the diversion of performing with my rapper sword dance team, the Gay Blades, at the Lilac Sunday event at the Arnold Arboretum in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts. There were dance teams from all over New England and some as far away as Toronto. We did well and got to not only perform a new dance for the group, but also got to do the Abbots Bromley Horn Dance.

It didn’t hit me until I was driving out to my father’s house. When I got there, it was sort of what I’ve come to expect as the new reality of my father and sister in the house. We discussed our trip next month to Newfoundland (we’re going to visit Renews, the small fishing village where Dad’s grandparents emigrated from in 1889), his upcoming knee replacement, and our continuous search for relatives and connections before we get there. It’s been a really tough year for my father since Mom’s death and this trip has been one thing that he has had to look forward to.

A lesson I took from that is that we can only deal with the present and what we can do from here. My Dad’s doing it in his own way, and I’m trying to do it too. I’m on day 8 of antibiotics (it turned out to be a sinus infection) and so looking forward to the summer. While I can make plans, I have to deal with the present reality, no matter how difficult or unpleasant it can be. I’ve been served recently by my study of the Getting Things Done process. Which has helped me focus on tangible steps in order to move my life along.

How are you dealing with your current reality? What’s the next step for you?

One of the biggest hurdles for most people when they are thinking about applying for a new job is to get their resumes in shape.  It can be one of the most angst-ridden activities that anyone can go through. A resume is the chance to show others what you have when you’re not there to tell them yourself, but most people put too much pressure on themselves to be perfect. when they don’t know what perfect is!

If you have questions about resumes, please sign up for the next Resonare Consulting TeleWorkshop: The Biggest Misconceptions About Resumes to be held on Wednesday, May 12, 2010 from 9-10 p.m. EDT.  This will be via the phone, and it’s FREE (although you are responsible for the cost of the phone call to the teleworkshop access number).

If you want to see comments from past TeleWorkshop participants, check out the comments from the April Workshop on Goal Setting.

Future TeleWorkshops are in the plans, and we’d like to know what topics you’d be interested in.  Please check off the ones below that you want.  Thanks for your input!


Two big things happened this weekend that really got me thinking about how I tend to mark my days. First, it was May morning, which in many traditional societies marks the beginning of summer and the bright, warm part of the year. In the Boston area, the folk/ritual dance community rises and “dances up the sun” at sunrise on May 1st (5:39 am here. It’s the only day of the year that I voluntarily get up anywhere near that early). We sing, we dance, wind ribbons around the maypole and generally rejoice that the winter is gone. This ceremony mimics those that have been done on England for centuries. Coupled with the New England Folk Festival last weekend and Lilac Sunday next weekend, it’s functioned as the end of one season and the start of another.

Additionally, we had a massive water pipe failure here on Saturday, and 2 million people in Boston were under orders to boil their water. Havoc reigned yesterday when people couldn’t get their morning coffee because Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts didn’t have the water to make it. Many people’s morning rituals were put akilter. While I don’t drink coffee (tea is the nectar of the Gods), it also put a crimp on my personal routines also. I didn’t do my meditations, and I was generally off.  Thank God the water has been played as of this morning!

Finally, I was at the Living Soulfully group in Boston (for gay men to continue their personal development started at Easton Mountain programs), and Bob Bruillard led a session on what lessons we can learn from our ancestors. In it, Bob stated that ritual is a way for us to mentally separate one experience from another. It allows us to close a chapter and start anew. It marks our days and accomplishments.

In Boston, we are now entering the times of college graduations. Students will be marking that they have accomplished something great, and looking for the next steps. For all of us, taking notice of our achievements and intentionally saying that we are moving on is a healthy way of mentally clearing our mind and moving forward.

What are you noticing and marking today? What are your rituals?

Ken Mattsson

Ken Mattsson

Ken Mattsson

I am a career consultant who specializes in the connection between what your spirit wants to do in the world, and how to marry that to the work that you do in order to support yourself. While I work with people in all fields, I specialize in working with "creative entrepreneurs" and the LGBT community.

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