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Ken at Cape Spear, Newfoundland, June 2010

As those regular readers of The Spirit-Work Connection have already noticed, it’s been quite a while since I’ve written here. Like many of you can attest, sometimes life packs more into your schedule than your calendar or mental capacities can handle. That was certainly the case for me. I’ve been booked basically every day and night for the past three weeks with whatever slivers of time available taken to try to recharge. I’m looking forward to a few days to do things like fold laundry (I’ve got four loads waiting for me!) and cleaning up my outdoor plants for the impending frosts.

I’m finding that I’ve been spending a lot of time being very active in pursuing accomplishments (more clients, reading, having meetings to get things done) and I haven’t been doing as much to just take care of myself. I haven’t been going to the gym and doing yoga as much as I’d like. I have been taking walks pretty consistently (gotta get outside while we still have light and somewhat warm temperatures here in Boston) but the more concentrated honoring of my physical self has been lacking. As I learned through my Tantra studies, great, creative things can happen when you create a space for miracles to bubble up. My body not only is the vehicle for me to do so many great things (planning in a trip to the Bahamas in January!) but it also houses my spirit for this lifetime. I’m in the need to clean house and make this a more comfortable place for me.

Here on Halloween, many traditions celebrate that this is the time when our ancestors (i.e. those that no longer have their earthly containers) are closer to us than at any other time of the year. I should be pleased that I have a container/body to dwell in and that is something to be happy about and celebrate.

I’ve decided that this winter season will be a cocooning time for me where I’ll focus on doing yoga, meditating,  journaling, reading good books, and cooking good food. And breathing. Got to remember to keep breathing.

So, what are you doing to take care of the one container you’ll never get out of in this life?


I’ve just returned from Easton Mountain where I participated in an intensive tantra and breathwork retreat lead by Ian Ellington. While I can’t go into all of what I learned, I can share one particular learning that was really revolutionary for me, and I think has a direct relationship to what how we connect our spirits and the way we show up in the world (e.g.  your career choice).

Here are some of the most powerful messages for me:

As I’m learning about tantra, it’s about accepting all the is, and not judging it, but instead seeing if it serves you or not.  This non-judgemental presentation of reality is really quite freeing. We tend to get so down on the “right” answer, that it puts so much pressure on it.  If we just see each action as an experiment, then we can be easier on ourselves.  So that interview didn’t go so well.  Hopefully you learned from that and will be better the next time.

Ian also presented a concept of masculine and feminine energies and coupled them with the classic yin and yang approaches of Eastern philosophy. He presented that our classic presentation of masculinity is the Masculine Yang (targeted, goal-oriented, adventurous) and the Feminine Yin (nurturing, enclosing, receiving).  He also said that there are other options, like the Masculine Yin (steadfast, resourceful, abiding) and the Feminine Yang (Thrusting, Moving, Transforming: Think Giving Birth).  You can see more about this in his video about it, but what was fascinating to me about this is that the Masculine Yin is more about creating safe space, and the Feminine Yang is about the crazy, wild, creative stuff that gets dreamed up when the conditions are right.

How many times have we gotten a great idea, or clarity on something, and it seems to come out of nowhere? Times when it seems that the planets are aligned and everything finally fits together?  We can’t seem to make it happen (like landing your dream job) but what we can do is to create the proper environment (Masculine Yin) so that good things (Feminine Yang) can happen.  Most clients that I have are doing so many Masculine Yang actions (applying to posted jobs, etc.) that aren’t getting them results, and I keep saying that they need to do more Masculine Yin actions (networking, researching, etc.) that will creative good relationships and the conditions that will make getting the job (Feminine Yang) to happen.

While this might seem a little philosophical, the jist of it is that too often we try to force things to happen, and creativity can’t be forced, but it can be coaxed.  I know from this that I need to be kinder to myself to set up space for great things to happen for me (it’s a lot easier to make space for others.  I’m a professional at that!)

So, how are you creating space for magical, creative things to happen in your life?

Ken Mattsson

Ken Mattsson

Ken Mattsson

I am a career consultant who specializes in the connection between what your spirit wants to do in the world, and how to marry that to the work that you do in order to support yourself. While I work with people in all fields, I specialize in working with "creative entrepreneurs" and the LGBT community.

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